Eyelashes

and wishes

if something were different

it ought to have shown itself.

Think wistfully,

now I am become theWaterhousedepictionofOphelia

and some days I ought to be tragic –

others I ought to want to be.

This is the way of trying

remembering lectures and baseballs

in familiarly chastised corners

“stop the try

do the do.”

I think I wanted to fail at least one test in my life

then it happened

and I didn’t feel free,

didn’t feel like anything other than punishment

grief

difficult for a young thing to grip with

but a symbol of some profound modern sickness

confused then, but now I know

the fear of dissapointment

from a system.

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